This has kinda been a hard week. Cole's boss can only pay him one day a week now instead of 5. So I am going back to La Bella Vita to cut hair again. I have been really nervous cuz it's been a while and I worry about leaving Ethan. When I was doing hair, I rarely had a lunch break, but I HAVE to make sure this time that I do. I have to pump every couple hours and if I don't eat and stay hydrated, I may dry up. We can't afford formula, and breastmilk is just a lot better for Ethan. I am also selfish because I have really enjoyed having Saturdays off with Cole this past year that I haven't worked. I have worked every Saturday since I was 14 up until a year ago. And looking back, I missed out on a lot of family functions and outings that I REALLY regret. Anyways, I am very blessed though that La Bella Vita hired me on the spot when I called them the evening that Cole found out. So on top of all that, lately Ethan has been up 3 times a night again as if he was newborn. Then last night I was up with him all night while he took a bunch of 30 min naps and lots of fussing. I thought he may be teething or an ear infection, but he didn't have a bad fever. so this morning I took him to the doctor. The doctor thinks he is coming down with RSV. Scary. I started to cry out of nerves and pure exhaustion. But his doctor is so kind, he helped me feel better and told me to make sure that I get some help with Ethan cuz if it is RSV, it is a long road ahead. I hope Ethan DOESn't have RSV!- And if he does, I go to work tomorrow and won't be able to be there for him! I know Cole will do a good job, but when I was sick, all I wanted was my mommy. :(